


sharing beds & troubled nights.

by zielschmerz



Category: Atypical (TV 2017)
Genre: F/F, Tumblr Prompt, is this fluff?, it's a super thin line for me tbh, or is this angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-19
Updated: 2019-11-19
Packaged: 2021-02-13 10:42:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21493000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zielschmerz/pseuds/zielschmerz
Summary: tumblr prompt: Izzie keeps finding Casey asleep everywhere but in their bed and she finally goes off about it. turns out Izzie snores (or some other obnoxious sleep habit) so Casey can’t sleep if she stays in bed.orthe two times where Casey has difficulty sharing bed with Izzie, and the one time she stays.
Relationships: Casey Gardner & Izzie, Casey Gardner/Izzie
Comments: 12
Kudos: 306





	sharing beds & troubled nights.

**Author's Note:**

> characters belong to atypical, but the story is mine.
> 
> this turned out way more angsty then i thought. yikes.

1.

It’s been hours since the confession.

Casey doesn’t know how long she’s been laying there. Her mind has been replaying scenes of last night like a broken tape recorder. She has thought about it so much that she can practically repeat every word verbatim from memory.

She turns her head slightly to the side, and sees the silhouette of Izzie’s face – calm and free of trepidation from putting her heart on the line.

。‧。‧。

_“I just feel bad for the kids,” Izzie says, “it’s scary for them.” _

_Her voice devoid of any emotion, as if trying to draw attention away from herself. Her hands are clasped together, lightly trembling and her nails scratch with each word. The pain seems to ebb away at each mark because Izzie nods to herself and smiles sadly. _

_“But they’re with my grandma now, so thank you…,” she pauses, “for letting me stay here.” The way Izzie intentionally makes eye contacts feels like an out. For whatever is about to come, and Casey tries to focus her attention elsewhere. _

_Smiling briefly, Casey nods, “Yeah, of course.” And a part of her doesn’t understand the gratitude because she thought it was obvious. That regardless of this “thing” between them, Casey will never just leave her alone and helpless. _

_“And I’m so sorry for how I acted at that dinner party,” Izzie’s words coming out quicker with each breath, as though they’re approaching the edge of something. The thought worries Casey because she has **just** gotten her best friend back, the possibility of losing her again shakes her to the core. _

_“Dude, it’s okay,” Casey replies, desperately trying to veer the conversation off track._

_“No, it’s not.” Izzie says adamantly. Casey clamps her mouth close at the tone, and her body tenses for Izzie’s response._

_Biting her lips, Izzie seems to be at war with herself – between just laying her cards out or silently stay being irrevocably in love with her favorite person. “I was just stirring shit up just because…” and she has to brace herself for her next words._

_“What?” Casey pushes, unknowingly pushing her closer to the pits of unknown. There’s a part of her that aches at the way Izzie chooses to look everywhere but her, like she’s afraid of what she’ll find when she meets her gaze. _

_“Because I was jealous.” Meeting her eyes for a brief second, Izzie decides to stare pointedly at the floor. Hoping for some placebo effect that might kick in so she’ll be less invisible and more grounded. _

_“Why?” and Casey sees Izzie almost scoff at her question but thinks better of it. The air inside the room becomes thinner somehow, or perhaps maybe they’re tip-toeing on the brink of something new. Playing a game of chicken to see who will fall first. _

_“You know why.”_

_And she dives. _

。‧。‧。

It still remains a tangled mess inside Casey’s head, always dancing along the lines of _I like her_ and _I’m afraid of losing her_. The constant pushing back and forth drives her insane, and she rubs her hand gently over her chest.

Breathing in and out. In and out.

The weight seems to have eased a little.

Just as she is about to reach for her glass of water, she feels a faint pressure on her hair. Her suspicions are confirmed when there’s a sharp tug at her scalp from her leaning up.

“Izzie,” she whispers loudly, “you’re on my hair.”

Hearing no response, Casey lays back onto the pillow, and tries to pull her hair out from under Izzie’s elbows but to no avail. She has half a mind to just lift Izzie’s arm but managed to stop herself. Eyes roaming over Izzie’s dark circles, Casey doesn’t have the heart to wake her up, let alone for something as trivial as this.

She stays there for a few minutes longer, marveling at how unguarded Izzie looks when asleep. The ache in her heart is back and it numbs down to a dull throb for all the time Izzie has to hold up the pretenses of being perfect.

“Izzie!” she tries again, and this time she accepts her defeat.

Relenting to Izzie’s unyielding elbow, Casey carefully pulls her hair couple strands at a time and gives herself a fist pump once she’s free. Before heading out the door to grab her sleeping bag, she places her favorite stuffed rabbit next to Izzie.

She smiles as she takes one last look at the two of them cuddling together, and wishes one day that it will be them too.

* * *

2.

It’s a Friday evening, and they’re both sitting comfortably on an expensive looking sofa.

The team has just finished their biggest track meet of the year, and they’ve all decided to have a sleepover at Quinn’s house. It’s already one in the morning, and the music is still thumping through the speaker, causing the ground to vibrate with each bass.

“What’s on your mind, Newton?” Izzie asks lazily as she crosses her legs over Casey’s own, finger pointing suspiciously at Casey. She watches Casey like she has her whole undivided attention.

“I was thinking about how we became close,” Casey clears her throat, and slowly draws a finger down Izzie’s legs that overlapped with her own. “It was through Quinn, right?”

Izzie couldn’t help but let out a shudder, goosebumps running along the path that Casey had traced. She crooks her head and ponders for a few seconds, “Technically, it was her alcohol.”

“Po-tay-to, Po-tah-to.” Casey replies as she rolls her eyes. Her head tilting back and pretends to be annoyed by Izzie’s need to always be a hundred percent right.

Dropping her gaze down to Casey’s neck, Izzie’s hand tightens around the almost empty cup. The temptation to lean forward and explore with her lips along those undiscovered plains almost makes Izzie’s will crumble.

“What?” Izzie pretends to be amused as she stands to grab more drinks, “I just wanted to be accurate.”

“Sure, Iz. Can you grab me some chips as well?”

Izzie doesn’t say anything but salutes.

。‧。‧。

It’s been a month since the break up between Evan and Casey, and still a touchy spot nonetheless. The muted smiles and averted gazes that comes whenever he is mentioned, it makes Izzie wonder if she’ll ever fully have her.

Her mind gets pulled back to reality when Casey’s laughter rings out loud and contagious from the living room. Apparently, one of the team members has just told a joke that somehow strikes a chord with Casey’s quirky sense of humor.

Peering around the corner, Izzie easily spots Casey within the group of girls. She is chatting with the assistant captain of the team, and it’s endearing to watch her talk animatedly about a topic she loves. As if on cue, Casey turns around upon sensing her gaze and smiles with eyes alight with warmth.

_God, she’ll wait forever if she has to. _

。‧。‧。

Obviously being best friends, Quinn has appointed them in the same room for the night.

This time, Casey is prepared. She has brought a scrunchie so she’ll be able to tie her hair up, and mentally pats herself on the back for being so thoughtful.

Opening her arms, she waits for Izzie to fall into them. She feels like a child waiting to be hugged, but feels all the more worth the smile Izzie sends her way when she comes out after the shower.

Fortunately, she falls asleep rather quickly this time.

。‧。‧。

Unfortunately, she wakes up in less than three hours.

Casey has resigned to this turn of event. Really, she has. There’s nothing else she can do. Nothing she can do about the arm that’s currently clawing its way up her face with every movement she makes.

She has a split second of pure admiration for how Izzie is achieving this.

The exhaustion is literally swallowing her whole. She feels as if she’s about to collapse when she stands with pillows in hand, and does the small trek over to the sofa. The sofa being way too short for her height, so she hugs her knees to her chest and tries to sleep.

She doesn’t realize when she had crossed the line from waking to dreaming.

* * *

3.

Izzie has had enough.

With her mom’s disappearance _again_ and Casey’s constant refusal to sleep in the same bed as her, Izzie is about seconds away from breakdown.

There must be something wrong with her. It _has_ to be. For everyone to be pushing her away, or running away from her for that matter.

_When will she ever be enough? _

Across the field, she sees the sun starts to set and her heart slowly sinks with it. The constant ache for comfort and proximity has made her hold on too tight, so tight that it suffocates.

The wind is starting to pick up, and she folds her arms across her stomach, desperate for some warmth. Teetering on the edge of falling apart, she thinks about a trivia that Sam had once told her – _smiling can trick your brain into happiness._

And, so she tries.

She tries, tries, and tries.

On the third time, her smile has been consumed by an overwhelming pity she has for herself. She keeps the corner of her lips upturned despite the slight waver, and her eyes burn from unshed tears.

。‧。‧。

She doesn’t know how long she’s been sitting here.

Through the wind, Izzie faintly hears sounds of thudding footsteps and she wonders if she’s imagining things.

“Izzie,” Casey calls out to her, “I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”

The concern in her tone is so apparent that her heart breaks little by little. Eyes closing, Izzie dwells in the silence that has never felt so loud.

“My mom has left us again,” Izzie chokes out, “and you can’t even stand to sleep in the same bed as me.”

“No, that’s not true. There’s a good rea-“

“I’m **_sick_** of hearing excuses, Casey.” Her tone desperate, and god, she is tired of lying to herself too.

Casey takes deliberate and cautious steps toward her, trying to gauge her reaction.

“I’m a really light sleeper, Iz.” Casey takes a step forward.

“The first time, your elbow was on my hair and I could barely sleep without being tugged awake.” _Another step._

“The second time, I practically got slapped awake by you, but hey that might’ve been something I would be into if I wasn’t so tired.” Casey jokes whilst taking another step, and Izzie feels the clenching of her chest ease a little. 

Stopping in front of her, Casey wants to reach out but she’s scared. Her fingers twitch by her side, longing to touch the girl in front of her. The pain radiating off of Izzie is so palpable, and Casey is ashamed to be part of the reason.

“Come home,” Casey pleads, “Come home with me.”

Izzie’s hand trembles as she grabs onto Casey’s hand. Her grip tightens and she allows herself to curl into Casey’s arms upon hearing her words of promise.

“I’ll always want you.” 

。‧。‧。

This whole day has been a rollercoaster of emotions. The pain of seeing her mother disappear, and the responsibility of three siblings falls on her again. It doesn’t just fade, and it will never fade. It’ll take time, but she’s learning with Casey by her side.

_Learning_ to cope.

_Learning_ to heal.

_Learning _to grow.

Before they sleep that night, Casey made sure to take all the necessary precautions to fully convince Izzie how serious she is about all this, and Izzie can’t help but smile at her silly antics as they snuggle together in bed.

“Hey, Newton.”

“Yeah?”

“If you could be anything in the world, what would you be?”

“Yours.”

**Author's Note:**

> come bother me @ heyluthor on tumblr or send prompts so I can write more of them falling in love because they’re so fucking soft it breaks my heart.


End file.
